Festival of Trees 2012

Megan pulled off another great tree this year in memory of her boy Chance... the theme was the great outdoors. All of her decorations were of moose, bears, squirrels, and owls. She did such a great job on it! I got to go and help put it together on decorating day.

My mom tied a quilt with Megan and her sisters and many other people contributed.

Me and Megan with my mom and some friends and our Aunt Becky on decorating day.

Sisters!

Meg and Mom

Our sister Lauren wrote a paragraph to help Festival visitors get to know Chance... it read:
Chance was an inquisitive boy. He loved exploring, getting into everything, and playing in the dirt. He would have been an outdoor enthusiast, for sure, if he hadn't gotten sick at the tender age of 2 years and 11 months. Just weeks before he died he was able to go on his first camping trip. What an adventure! We hoped there would be many more opportunities for him to sleep under the stars, be close to nature, and try to spot the wildlife. But God had a different plan and called Chance home. We still feel close to him when we are outside. He is in the wind, the sunshine, the raindrops, the hoot of an owl, and especially in the dirt.

Later in the week we went with my Grandma Cole to see the tree... The kids love being with her and I love it too. She is so good with them (and they love that she usually manages to bring them a little treat :)).

Sophia was in a bit of a funk that day, she finally pulled out of it when we saw the gingerbread houses and there was one from Tangled  (one of her favorite movies).

The Festival is such a great event, and I love that Megan has made it a priority in her life to give back to the Medical Center that tried so hard to save her boy. 

On decorating day I was (again) amazed as I looked around and thought about how much love goes into each tree... there is a story behind each tree and a person to go with the story. It breaks my heart that there are so many in the "club" of people who have lost a loved one (often a young child) but it is heartwarming that so many people work so hard to contribute to such a good cause and bring so much joy to others in the process.

Chance's Hundred Acre Wood

It's time again for the Festival of Trees! My sister Megan has been working hard for months and months to put this darling tree together in Chance's memory. Many people donated money and time and ideas and the end result is fabulous!

Each tree has a plaque where people can read the story of the person that the tree was made in memory of.  I loved what Lauren wrote:

Our sweet Chance was taken from us much too soon.  He spent his last 3 ½ weeks at Primary Children’s, receiving great care as he valiantly fought to stay with his mom and family.  As a baby, Chance would go to sleep listening to the music from Kenny Loggins’ “Return to Pooh Corner”.  He loved Winnie the Pooh; in fact, there is a Pooh bear on his headstone to remind us of the carefree and joy-filled days of Chance’s young childhood.  He brightened the lives of all who were lucky to know him. 

          In the song we hear:  “a few precious things seem to follow throughout all our lives.”  Chance was certainly a precious boy who eternally impacted many lives. 

          His mom, Megan, would sing to him the rest of the song:

“After all’s said and done, I was watching my son

Sleeping there with my bear by his side.

So I tucked him in, I kissed him, and as I was going,

I swear that Old Bear whispered, Boy welcome home.”

As Megan kissed Chance for the final time in this life, in a room at Primary Children’s, we know our Heavenly Father whispered, “Boy, Welcome Home!”

Megan made beehives and plaques with famous Pooh sayings and darling "Hunny" pots. The tree also had pinecones and sunflowers and bees flying around. Megan put together puzzles, my mom made a cute quilt (right hand side of the above photo), she got an autographed photo of Kenny Loggins and she is playing his "Return to Pooh's Corner" song.

Megan found all kinds of books and puzzles to go under the tree...

...and she found so many darling Pooh and friends figurines. It all came together perfectly!

My mom and a few aunts and cousins came and helped us on decorating day... it was so fun to see all of Megan's hard work come together.

Many of the trees are donated in memory of someone who has passed away. As we decorated and I looked around, I was struck by how many people were there and how much time, money, and effort goes into the Festival.  Collectively, there has to be a lot of grief and sadness, but on the other hand, there is a huge amount of love and healing. I love that people are able to put their energy toward such a good cause.  All proceeds go to Primary Children's Medical Center.

The Festival is going on Wednesday, November 30th to Saturday, December 3rd at the South Towne Expo Center, and this cute tree is on row C, number 9. For more info, visit their website at www.festivaloftreesutah.org. If you are in the area, I hope you can go and visit "Chance's Hundred Acre Wood."

Six Years

Six years have passed since Mr. Chance left us. Some days it seems like just yesterday that we heard his laugh and looked at his beautiful blue eyes, with eyelashes that were longer than any I have seen.

We remember him every day, and miss him, and love him. Today I got to spend a couple of hours with my sister, Megan. We laughed and cried as we remembered Chance's brightness and joy and all of his crazy antics.

We looked through pictures and I found one that reminded me so much of Sophia's latest smiling habits.

Chance brought so much joy to so many people, and now that he is gone it is hard not to feel an achy hole in our hearts, especially for Megan. I loved reading through the beautiful obituary that my sister Lauren wrote because it captured who Chance was and what we all feel about him. We miss you Chance!

2002 ~ 2005 Chance Tyler Fulton blessed our family with his birth on Nov. 15, 2002. He departed this life on Oct. 19, 2005 after suffering in-tractable seizures since Sept. 26th. Although his life on earth was short, his influence is forever reaching. His death leaves a gaping hole in the hearts of his loving mother, Megan Wirthlin Cole, and his father, Tyler Kay Fulton. Our "almost" 3 year old was looking forward to celebrating his birthday. He loved superheroes, especially Spiderman, and wished he could be one. Chance proved himself these last 3 weeks with his superhuman strength and bravery ...he is truly a hero in our eyes. Chance loved to listen to music and to dance. He was his mommy's sweetheart, but his bright smile, beautiful blue eyes, and engaging personality made him everybody's baby. He enjoyed going to nursery at church and he loved to play with his cousins, who were his best friends. Chance found joy in all things, including throwing any ball around and watching his uncles compete in their sports. He liked to help his Grandpa Mike mow the lawn and hear his grandma sing. His grandma and grandpa just took him on his first camping trip, and he also got to visit his Grandpa Cole in San Diego, where he relished playing on the beach. He loved to ride on the bus and on the back of his mom's wheelchair. Chance was a strong-willed, stubborn little boy who made us laugh with his antics and smile at his joyful spirit. Now we mourn the absence of his little feet running, jumping and dancing. He never did anything half-way or half-speed. Chance is lucky to have a large family who loves and adores him. Chance also leaves behind many other loved ones and friends. The family would like to thank the wonderful staff at Primary Children's Medical Center, especially the fantastic doctors and nurses who cared for Chance. Chance, until we see you again, you will live in our hearts and memories, and our happy thoughts. May you rest in the arms of Jesus. 

Happy birthday Chancy Pants

Chance,

Happy birthday, little man! Today you would have turned eight years old. Even though you have been gone for five years we still miss you so much. I wonder what your personality would be like now... no doubt you would be inquisitive and happy and make everyone smile. I wonder what subjects you would like in school and what sports you might like to play. I wonder what music you would like to listen to and if the "Sound of Music" would still be your favorite show. I wonder if you would still love Spiderman and would still like to ride on the back of your mama's chair as she rolls down the street. We talk about you all the time and feel blessed to have had you in our family.  We love you!

Love,
Us

A Chance to Remember

Today my sister Megan's son Chance would have turned seven years old... we still miss him so much. He was so full of energy and love for life. He loved cars and trucks and trains and buses and anything that moved. My mom and Mike have a stone that was engraved for them just after Chance died... it says "I saw it first" and the saying comes from a game that Chance used to play with Mike, his favorite buddy. He'd spot a bus zooming by and yell out, "I saw it first!" For Chance's funeral Mike wrote something about how Chance is seeing heaven before us, but at some point we'll join him there. Although I still struggle to understand why Chance was taken at such an early age and in a way that didn't really leave us with many answers, I have no doubts that there is a greater plan and that Heavenly Father has a purpose for him.

Olivia and I went up to the cemetery yesterday for our annual tradition of letting balloons go in his memory... it had just snowed and was freezing cold... and we had to brush off the snow to figure out which was his headstone, but we found it and wished him a happy birthday as we sent balloons off into the cold, crisp sky.

We remember Chance all year, but near his birthday we think a lot about him and wonder what life might be like if he were still around. The hardest thing about having lost Chance is that at this point we feel like we have lost Megan too. She has distanced herself from so many people that love her and won't allow herself to feel any comfort from true gospel principles. The tragedy isn't just that Chance is gone, but that she has allowed his death to prevent her from feeling happiness in life.

These last few months I have been reminded (again) of all the suffering there is in the world. My sweet cousins lost their baby just over a year ago... our friend in Georgia was just diagnosed with leukemia... and another dear friend Solange just lost her husband after he had battled Lou Gehrig's disease for several years. Solange and her husband lost their baby boy a few years ago too... and even as she shared the news of Olivier's death this week, she expressed her joy that her little David is again with his daddy. With all of these friends and family members I have been amazed at the strength and resolve they have shown. Their tragedies are sad and heart-breaking and hard, but they are pressing forward with faith and the conviction that they will again be with their loved ones.

Coleman was asked to sing in Sacrament Meeting today--and he practiced and practiced for so many weeks. (I can't let it go without saying that Ryan practiced right along with him, since he played the piano for him... and Olivia and I practiced as well, because we were the "moral support.") He sang "I Feel My Savior's Love" by Ralph Rodgers and I just love the words:

I feel my Savior’s love
In all the world around me.
His Spirit warms my soul
Through ev’rything I see.

Chorus
He knows I will follow him,
Give all my life to him.
I feel my Savior’s love,
The love he freely gives me.

I feel my Savior’s love;
Its gentleness enfolds me,
And when I kneel to pray,
My heart is filled with peace.

Chorus

I feel my Savior’s love
And know that he will bless me.
I offer him my heart;
My shepherd he will be.

Chorus

As I watched him sing (and very, very quietly sang by him as I was kneeling by him because at the last minute he said he was scared) and listened to the words, I was struck by the thought that so many people who experience tragedy are able to come through it stronger because they allow themselves to feel the love of the Savior.

Just after Solange's husband was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease, she and I spoke at length about how we often seek for physical healing for ourselves or loved ones... and how Christ can be our healer... but in some instances it is not our physical bodies that He heals, rather He heals our hearts when we are suffering and makes us stronger spiritually and emotionally. Although none of us wish to go through such devastating losses of watching loved ones suffer and die, it is a gift so wonderful that if we allow Him to, He will heal our hearts and souls if we offer them to Him. I hope that each of us can allow Christ to be our shepherd and always feel the love that the Savior has for us. I have a special hope for Megan that she will soften her heart and allow the Savior and her family members in again... so that she can feel the love we have for her.

Happy 7th birthday, little man. We love you!

Happy Birthday Chance!

Today would have been Chance's 6th birthday. It's hard to believe it's already been over 3 years since he passed away--sometimes it seems like a whole lifetime ago, yet the pain still seems so fresh and raw. Although we know we'll be with him again, it is still heartbreaking, especially for Megan who has endured so much in her life, and we mourn the many things that we never got to experience with him. This picture was taken at Lindsey's wedding in March 2005. Chance was as mischievous as ever that day and loved to play in the fountain at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. He was so vivacious and full of life--and I love this picture of Megan with him. She looks so content to be with her boy.

On his first birthday after he died we went up to the cemetary and let a bunch of balloons go. We have a lot of family members that don't live in the Salt Lake area, so we've tried to have everyone let balloons go on his birthday, where ever we might be.

We love you Mr. Chancey Pants!

"I Think I Can" Festival of Trees 2007

Today I got to go decorate a tree with Megan for the Festival of Trees. Unfortunately I was too busy this year to help Megan much with the project, so I just contributed the tree skirt. She did so much work and put together quite a collection of train toys and ornaments! Lots of people contributed money and items so that she could do it and it turned out great! She had a ride-on Thomas train that went around the tree and a table with a wooden train set. She made the cutest toy box that looked like a box car and had it filled with quilts and toys of all kinds. There were books and puzzles and blocks and stickers and trains of all kinds. Chance loved trains and Megan had a great picture of him on a Thomas train (to the right). Megan has done a tree each year since Chance died, partly for us all to remember Chance and partly to pay back in a small way all that the great folks at Primary Children's Medical Center did for Chance while he was there. If you live near the Salt Lake area, the Festival is at the South Towne Expo Center and runs Wednesday, November 28th through Saturday, December 1st. Your small entrance fee goes to Primary Children's Medical Center--it's a great cause and you can look for Chance's tree in Aisle F (#5).

Meg, I know I promised I wouldn't post this picture of us, but it was too cute. Here is me with my Mom and Megan after we spent a few good hours decorating the tree. Missing is our other sister Lindsey who also decorated with us!

Happy Birthday Chance

Chance Tyler Fulton was born on November 15, 2002, so today would have been his 5th birthday. He is my sister Megan's son and he's a beautiful boy. In September of 2005 he suddenly got very sick and didn't get better. The doctors and staff at Primary Children's Hospital fought hard to make him well and we fasted and prayed and implored with the Lord so that Chance could make a full recovery. For some reason, the Lord needed Chance more than we needed him here, although we all still struggle trying to understand why. I struggle still with feelings that I didn't do enough for Chance while he was here, and hope that I can somehow do right by him. I am grateful for Chance and his love of life and people. I am grateful for his beautiful blue eyes and eyelashes that any girl would die for. I'm grateful for his mischievious smile and playful personality and for all the memories he created for our family. I am grateful that Megan had an opportunity to love a son and to be loved by him. I am grateful too that although we miss him terribly and sometimes the ache to be near him is almost too much to bear, we know that we will be with him again. Happy birthday little man!