On the Flip Side

Despite trying to say "YES" to my kids more, I am also trying to say "NO" more to the things that aren't important or that don't work for me.  I read a post a few years ago that I can't find anywhere (help me out with the link, Linn?) by my wise cousin (also featured in the last post) where she talked about some great advice her dad had given to her.  He told her something to the effect that she didn't need to make excuses or give explanations, she could just say "no" if something wasn't going to work for her.  She could simply say, "No, that just doesn't work for me." No apologies or lengthy explanations needed.

I heard another wise tidbit--if you say yes to something, you are saying no to another. For example, saying yes"to watching 10 hours of TV in a day means that you probably won't get a lot of housekeeping, mothering, studying, cooking, etc. done. If you say yes to volunteering for an organization, you are saying no to using that time for your family. If you say yes to eating a whole chocolate cake, you are saying no to feeling good, being healthy, etc.

My friend Jill and I were chatting about this the other day--I think that oftentimes we feel obligated to say yes or somehow make things work.  Do men have this problem, or is it mainly an issue with women? We don't want to let people down or we don't want them to think less of us.  Many times, we simply want to help out, but it may come at the expense of other things that are more meaningful in our lives. Her husband recommended that she practice saying "No!"--quickly and loudly.  Jill and I laughed about it, but it made me think more about the whole idea of committing myself to things that I really can't (or shouldn't) do.

So, while I will continue to make the effort to say YES when I can, I will also try to say NO, without the guilt.

 **Thoughts?

Just Say Yes!

I feel like I say no a lot. Especially to the little ones that mean the most to me. I don't want them to grow up remembering a mama who always said "not now" or "maybe later" or just flat out "no."  My amazing cousin Linn has a great blog on organization . It is full of "everyday ideas to simplify and organize your life."  We all know that I have  LONG way to go before I'd call myself organized (or simplified for that matter...) but I love her thoughts.  Recently she shared a link to another mom's fabulous post about saying that word that is magic to all of our ears:

Read it here, you'll be glad you did!

Grief

My sister Lauren has a gift for finding quotes.  She came across this one while reading a blog and shared it with me... I love what it says about grief and I hope that it helps me to be more sensitive to people who are going through that process. I want to check out the rest of the book too.

"Grief is not linear. People kept telling me that once this happened or that passed, everything would be better. Some people gave me one year to grieve. They saw grief as a straight line, with a beginning, middle, and end. But it is not linear. It is disjointed. One day you are acting almost like a normal person. You may even manage to take a shower. Your clothes match. You think the autumn leaves look pretty, or enjoy the sound of snow crunching under your feet. 

"Then a song, a glimpse of something, or maybe even nothing sends you back into the hole of grief. It is not one step forward, two steps back. It is a jumble. It is hours that are all right, and weeks that aren't. Or it is good days and bad days. Or it is the weight of sadness making you look different to others and nothing helps. Not haircuts or manicures or the Atkins diet.

"...Grief doesn't have a plot. It isn't smooth. There is no beginning and middle and end. There is no end."

-Ann Hood (from her book Comfort: A Journey Through Grief)

Six Months

Just six months ago this little angel joined our family. We can't imagine life without her.

She is growing and growing (Why aren't tummy rolls and dimples on thighs cute on thirty-something women? No matter, they are adorable on her!). She smiles frequently (just not for the camera too much lately... the red-eye reduction light makes her get the "deer in the headlight" look). She rolls over (and over and over... until the couch or wall stops her). She puts everything in her mouth. She laughs spontaneously (funniest thing in the world). She's loves her sister and brother and giggles with much delight when they pay attention to her and play peek-a-boo with her. She likes to try new foods (peaches, cantaloupe, chicken, and Coleman's favorite homemade mac-n-cheese are some new additions). She loves to drink water and loves, loves, loves to nurse.


We are so grateful to have Sophia in our family!

Some Agreements

I just finished reading this book... and before I return it to the library I thought I'd share a few ideas from it. I will admit freely that I didn't love this book and rolled my eyes several times during the course of reading it. Perhaps my mindset wasn't where it needed to be (on a higher plane?) to appreciate it... It came very highly recommended by a friend with whom I usually agree on book choices, so I was a little disappointed that it didn't rock my world like she thought it would... but no matter, it still had a few things that caused me to reflect a bit more and I hope that I'm better for having read it.

It's based on the assumption that we have all made agreements with ourselves and our society, most of which aren't beneficial to us. The author suggests that to improve our lives (and increase our happiness and freedom) we need to rid ourselves of these bad agreements and form new agreements.

I liked the four agreements that he suggested:

1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don't take anything personally. (This one was interesting... he emphasizes that it's not just the negative things thrown our way that we shouldn't take personally, but the compliments and positive things too.)

3. Don't make assumptions. (I'm so guilty of this... but trying to do better... which leads us to...)

4. Always do your best. (This section reminded me of President Hinckley. I love that President Hinckley always reminded us to do our best, but make sure it's our very best. I liked that the author spelled out that some days our best is better than others. We won't need to have any regrets if we know that we have always done our best.)

**Did any of those agreements speak to you?

Loves to Eat

Rice cereal has been added to this girl's diet, much to her delight!

Better Than You Think

Another one of my heroes, Julie B. Beck, spoke at our Sunday meeting yesterday. She started her talk by saying something I really needed to hear:

"You're doing better than you think you are."

She continued speaking, and said another thing that I probably needed to hear even more:

"You still could be doing more than you are doing."

Good words, no?

Seven Years!

Coleman turned seven today! I am so grateful that he is my boy. He's always happy and making people around him laugh. He is kind and sensitive and such a good kid.


Earlier this weekend he had a few of his friends over for a late night. He wanted to watch the a movie with lots of adventure, so he chose one of his favorites--"Outlaw Trail". We made pizzas and ate candy and had all sorts of wild goodness together.

To go along with the adventure theme we tried a cowboy boot on his cake. All of the episodes that we've been watching of Cake Boss got me all excited to decorate a cake. My supplies (and talents) are limited though, so I did the best I could :). He LOVED the edible rocks (thank you Win-Co) and sand (brown sugar) around the cake. Those chocolate rocks were the hit of the party with the kids and the grown ups.

I saw a cute idea in my Real Simple magazine for dynamite cupcakes... red and black licorice with pop-rocks. They did a lot of their popping when I decorated them which was kind of funny.

Coleman still loves Lego Star Wars and we found these jams for him.

Olivia wanted to play "Heavy, Heavy, Hangover" with her gift. (We did that all the time when we were kids.)

We had a fun day celebrating this cute boy's birthday!

Happy birthday Coleman!