Kate's Blessing

In November Lindsey and her family came up to our town to bless their cute baby Kate... it was a good midway point so that both families could be there.

We love baby Kate!

Moving Forward with Faith

This last week things have been hard. We are still trying to make sense of it all and find some normalcy in life. I admit that I have spent a lot of time and shed a lot of tears wondering how I could have changed things, or asking a whole slew of "what if?" questions. I know that we can't hit the rewind button (how I wish we could!) and that we need to heal and find peace.

I have been amazed at the goodness and kindness of people near and far who have prayed for us and with us, who have sent notes or called, and who have served us. Many have asked if there is anything they can do, and your prayers and kind words have been so helpful. Tim and Laura are facing many unexpected medical and funeral expenses, and if you want to contribute in any way, there is a button to the side of my blog where you can make a contribution. Every dollar will help. Most importantly, they have felt uplifted and blessed during this difficult trial from friends and family and strangers who have reached out to them.

Ryan's sister Traci wrote a beautiful obituary:

Our sweet Mikayla Lynn Harper (Mikkie), born November 10th, 2008, left her earthly family to return to her Father in Heaven on August 14th, 2010, after a tragic accident while vacationing with her family.

Mikkie is survived by her parents, Tim and Laura Harper, and sister, Faith. In addition, she is survived by grandparents, Bruce and Terri Harper (formerly of Tooele) and Lyle and Tina Jessee (of Riverton), great-grandparents and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. Her great grandmother Lucille Harper and great grandfather Clayton Wilbur were among those who welcomed Mikkie to her heavenly home.

Mikkie had a special, sweet little spirit and brought joy and laughter to all those who knew her. She loved watching and playing with her older sister Faith and her cousins.

If you would like to join in support of the Harper family, a viewing will be held on Tuesday, August 17th, from 6 to 8 p.m. at the Broomhead Mortuary at 12590 S. 2200 W., Riverton. Another viewing will be held at the LDS Meetinghouse located at 13400 S. 2700 W., Riverton on Wednesday, August 18th at 10 a.m., followed by funeral services at 11 a.m. Interment will be in the Riverton city cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, if you would like to help, a trust fund has been set up to help cover unexpected medical and funeral expenses at Zion’s Bank under Mikayla Harper Donations.

We are deeply saddened by the loss of her presence while we remain apart from her. We love you. Until we meet again sweet Mikkie…

Every morning when I wake up I am reminded that Laura and Tim are waking up and trying to get through the day without their sweet baby, and I can't imagine how that must feel. A good friend reminded me that often we look for the big miracle (that Mikayla would be healed) but that we need to look for the little miracles (that we were blessed with Mikayla in our family, even for a short time).

Laura has started a blog where she shares her thoughts and feelings, which she titled "Move Forward with Faith" referring to their older daughter Faith and her faith in God. I know that we can never move on or go back to the way things were, but I have faith that we can move forward, being better for having known and loved Mikkie.

Blessing Day

Our little princesa was blessed earlier this month. She was so busy being loved by everyone that came to see her that we didn't get many pictures of her by herself... so we finally put her dress back on a week or so later and snapped a few. The blanket behind her was made by her great-grandma Jan.

She was lucky to be blessed by her daddy-O.

Since we had lots of family we celebrated Miss Liv's birthday too! (This time, I used regular frosting instead of the marshmallow disaster!)

We were very happy that Terri made the long trip out to visit and be here for the special day! She helped me so much in the morning getting ready for everyone to come over--she even braved the kitchen counter (it's still mostly clean!).

Three generations... me, Sophia Madelynn, and my mom, Madeline.

Grandma and Grandpa Cole with Sophia (Sophia Mason Crook comes through Grandma Cole's line).

Grandma Jan and Grandpa Denver Harper with Sophia

Cute Aunt Kristen and Sophia

The Jelte clan (plus a few extras!)

Eliza and Stephanie with Sophia

The Dave Wilbur clan

We were so glad the Barlows could come! Tyler did NOT want to be in the photo :).

Grandma Dorothy had a dream about Sophia a few weeks before she was born--she knew that she would be healthy. You can see from this picture she has a healthy set of lungs--she was tired from all the fuss and attention (and the big poofy dress I'm sure didn't help anything).

And she was DONE. (Sorry you had to have the screaming picture, Erin, love you!)

We're so grateful for those who came and all the help bringing yummy food... it was a wonderful day!

A Little Trip to the ER and a Short Stay in the Hospital

So everything has been going pretty well with my pregnancy. I had easy pregnancies with Liv and Coleman aside from a little nausea the first trimester. I've felt a little more tired than usual (I am officially in the "old" category being 35) and okay, so maybe it's a LOT more tired, but that's to be expected. I've had a lot of nausea but no vomiting so things seemed to be going on just fine.

Early Thursday morning (around 1 am) I had some severe chest and shoulder pain that woke me up. I stayed in bed for awhile, hoping it would go away, but it got worse. Ryan woke up to the sound of my sobbing and knew that we had to go to the ER. I honestly thought I was dying. I figured I was either having a heart attack or that I had a blood clot in my lung.

He called our dear friend (and across the street neighbor) Sara to come and stay at our house while we went. I was much more worried about the state of our messy house than I should have been, I know Sara didn't care, I'm just grateful she was willing to come over immediately.

The hospital is pretty close to our house and we got into a room quickly (despite the lack of valet parking!). They checked my heart (all was normal) and confirmed that I hadn't had any trauma to my chest or shoulder and drew some blood to take a D-Dimer test. An elevated level says that something is going on, but isn't specific as to what. A normal level rules out any possibility that there is a blood clot. They wanted me to get a chest x-ray, but a ride in a wheelchair to radiology and a consult from the radiologist made us wary. The tech told us what a risk it was so early in pregnancy (since everything is still forming) and that it wouldn't show any clots, only if there was pneumonia, which I really didn't think was the problem (total lack of symptoms).

We went back to the room in the ER and we were waiting there when they came back with my D-Dimer results... normal is 0 to 500. Mine was 3378.... a little bit elevated!?!

The doctor insisted on a chest x-ray before doing a CT scan since the x-ray has a much lower risk of causing any problems. We actually left the x-ray room hoping that I had pneumonia (who hopes for pneumonia???).

The x-ray showed some small infiltrates in my lungs, and the radiologist interpreted it to mean that I was either in the very early stages of pneumonia or that I had a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in my lung).... so we had to do the CT scan to find it and confirm that that was the problem.

Shortly after the CT scan, the ER doctor came into our room and told us that it wasn't a death sentence, but that I definitely had a pulmonary embolism, a big one, in my left lung. He said it meant that my pregnancy was now very high risk and that I would be treating myself with blood thinner injections until the end of my pregnancy. The regular treatment for blood clots is oral Heparin or Coumadin, but since those are really well known teratogens they are not an option during pregnancy. It also meant that I'd either be induced or have a c-section after quitting the blood thinners for a couple of days or I could end up bleeding to death.

We are so grateful that they found it when they did, blood clots often go undiagnosed and end up being lethal. I hadn't shown any signs of blood clots in my legs or pelvis and my only risk factor was pregnancy. They weren't able to find the origin, but didn't seem to be too concerned about where it came from since the blood thinners would prevent any further clotting and our bodies naturally dissolve clots in the absence of clotting factors (which I don't have anymore).

I was admitted to stay in the hospital for a couple of days where they managed my pain (saying "eight" has it's privileges) and continued treating me with medicine to prevent any further clotting. I had an ultrasound there that showed that so far everything looks good with the pregnancy and in the future they will monitor things closely. They told me I can resume normal activities, except I have to make sure I don't fall and hit my head or cut myself and absolutely NO CONTACT SPORTS. (Darn, I'll have to see if I can get my money back from that ice hockey team I signed up for.)

I am home now and feeling a lot better, although still extremely tired and a bit sore. Ryan and the kids have been great and although it goes against everything I believe in, I've been sitting and resting a lot. I'm not sure I'll get used to "taking it easy" but I'll do it.

I am so grateful for our friends and family who went overboard taking care of us while I was gone and since I've been home. We've had flowers and dinners and fruit and cards and treats and laundry fairies and we even walked in on a few dear friends cleaning my house while I was gone. (Mortifying and heart warming at the same time.) Some generous and kind souls brought an envelope of money to help us with medical bills. I am overwhelmed in so many ways at how charitable and kind people have been with us. I couldn't ask for better people to be around us in this time of need.

We are now facing the challenge of figuring out how to pay for my insanely expensive injections that our insurance company is saying they won't cover. We have several options that include getting the insurance company to make an exception for us, getting help from the drug company themselves, or road tripping it to Canada or Mexico. The latter sounds like the craziest option, I know, but at this point it is also seeming like the one that might be the most feasible.

Please know that I am okay and we believe the baby will be just fine. We would love and appreciate all of your prayers. I could use some extra ones to make sure I don't fall and trip and hit my head...

Muchas Gracias!

I've mentioned before how blessed we have been in the last weeks.... with job strife and an upcoming (extravagant) vacation it's been a bit on the stressful side. The night that we left we had a doorbell ditcher drop off this lovely surprise--a basket of prizes and treats and an envelope with money in it. We don't know who gave this to us, but we can think of many, many people who would have it in their hearts to do it. Thank you for thinking of us and for helping us in this most generous and exciting way!

Blessings of the week...

This week I'm grateful for so many supportive friends and family members.

I'm grateful for good counsel from Church leaders (listen here) and a chance to examine my life and see where I need to improve. Oh, can we count the ways? I love Conference weekend. I love eating cinnamon rolls and watching Conference with my family while they color ties and play Conference Bingo. (This time around I missed gathering at my granddad's house for a yummy potluck and visiting with my family.)

I'm grateful for a VT who knew that warm rolls and a simple note would be more meaningful than a lengthy visit and message.

I'm grateful for friends who brought soup and rolls and treats and words of encouragement.

I'm grateful for a dear friend who provided me with a box of decadent dark chocolates, complete with a guide so it wouldn't be a guess each time I chose one of the treats she hand-picked for me.

I'm grateful for kids who love me, even though by their own admission (and mine) I wasn't very much fun this weekend.

I'm grateful that Roberts gave us a chance to get out of the house and let the creative juices flow.

We made some alligators with boondoggle and beads. Longest craft to make EVER especially for a make-and-take. They should have called it a "stay for three hours and make this ridiculous alligator with no clear instructions and then take it with you if you can finish it with the help of the well-meaning and helpful worker who probably wishes you had passed her table by craft." Coleman loved it. Me, not so much.

Liv made this darling card.

I'm grateful that my husband finally returned to cell phone range.

I'm grateful for another chance to get out of the house and listen to uplifting music. If you need to commission some music, M. Ryan Taylor's your guy.


Most of all, I'm grateful for family members and friends who have provided leads for work opportunities, help with piano lessons and gymnastics classes, and good shoulders to cry on--even though many are in much worse situations than we are.


**What's your favorite part about Conference weekend?
**Do your craft projects ever elicit such negative emotions, or is it just me?
**What do you feel grateful for these days?