Slow To Anger

A few weeks ago I taught a Relief Society lesson based on President Hinckley's talk from October General Conference titled Slow To Anger. From it, I learned many things, not the least of which is that I probably need anger management therapy. The talk was given in the Priesthood session, but our Stake leaders felt that all of the adult members needed to learn from it. As part of my lesson, I had the sisters write on posters the things that made them angry and what they did to overcome it. My motivation was two-fold--I thought it would make for interesting discussion, but I also wanted to be comforted in knowing that I wasn't the only one who flies off the handle at little (and sometimes big) things. I've kept the posters hanging around thinking I'd jot them down, and finally today, I'm ready to get rid of the posters in order to de-clutter my ever-increasing cluttered home. I thought I'd share the list here--so you can feel better too and maybe get some good coping ideas. I open the questions to you (for comments, please!):

**What makes you angry?
**How do you deal with your anger?

What makes you angry?

• disobedient children
• injustice
• kids not doing jobs
• wasted time
• bad hair day
• people who see others that need help and don't
• people who don't come to me if they have a problem with something I have done
• election year--political mudslinging
• fighting kids
• uncontrollable clutter
• gray hairs
• TV writer's strike
• post-teen acne
• ignorance
• slow drivers
• dog barking in the night
• people who don't do what they say they'll do
• selfish actions and thinking
• rude remarks
• people who take advantage of others
• being judged unfairly
• when my husband has a problem and he doesn't want to talk about it
• bad ones of voice
• I get angry when I get angry (mad at myself for allowing anger to take over me)
• things I can't control
• tantrums
• messy house
• canceled TV shows
• grocery carts not returned to the corral
• when my children ignore me
• driving--when I feel others are endangering me, driving too close or cutting me off
• husband doesn't put toilet seat down
• children being defiant and abusive
• when my kids say "whatever" and ignore me

The list is of course not all-inclusive (and it's pretty evident that it's a group of women wrote it!). I really liked the discussion that came after with the list of ways to deal with anger (no matter what the cause).

How do you deal with your anger?

• clear communication with others
• talk
• breathe deeply
• pray for charity and help to forgive
• go for a walk
• bake
• pray
• think about good things or happy memories
• step away--remove myself from the situation
• humor
• prayer, service, just let it go!
• scream (probably not AT the people you are angry at, but into a pillow or something)
• take a time-out
• work out, exercise
• create
• take a deep breath and realize I might not understand someone's day
• trust that the Lord will make it right
• give it time
• attend the temple
• shop
• sing a song
• realize that they might be having a bad day and didn't receive proper training
• take a nap

Finally, one sister wrote: "I don't know, that's why I need this lesson!"

I loved getting others' ideas for dealing with anger. I hope that I will be better.

President Hinckley's closing words have become all the sweeter for me since the day that I taught the lesson he left us: "Put a smile upon your faces, which will erase anger; speak out with words of love and peace, appreciation, and respect. If you will do this, your lives will be without regret. Your marriages and family relationships will be preserved. You will be much happier. You will do greater good. You will feel a sense of peace that will be wonderful. May the Lord bless you and inspire you to walk without anger, without bitterness of any kind, but to reach out to others with expressions of friendship, appreciation, and love."