Mixed Feelings

The other night we were trying to explain to Coleman about mixed feelings... Ryan used the example of eating his favorite Girl Scout cookies (have I mentioned that I LOVE Girl Scout Cookie season? Frozen Thin Mints, all the way, baby...). He loves Samoas... and gets to enjoy them all by himself because no one else in our house likes them. He has mixed feelings about eating them though... they taste so good... but the faster he eats them, the faster they are all gone, and he has to wait a whole year to get any more. Someone pointed out too that eating the whole box at once might give him a stomach ache--therefore mixed feelings about consuming Girl Scout Cookies.

My mixed feelings this last week have been about working... my last day was on Thursday and I can't say that my feelings are 50% positive-50% negative about quitting... I am overwhelmingly thrilled to be all done, particularly because the reason I am quitting is because we will be welcoming a baby to our family any day now... but at the same time, I do have a few things that I'll miss about working.

• I will miss speaking Spanish on a regular basis and making our Spanish speaking clients laugh at my accent and attempts at vocabulary, grammar, and all of the other ways that I slaughter the Spanish language.
• I will miss making a difference... even if only in very small ways as I was able to help families with nutrition and breastfeeding.
• I will miss making a financial contribution to our household... even though said contribution went directly to my medical expenses, it still felt empowering to be helping out.
  
• I will miss the fabulous people that I work with--they made working a whole lot of bearable (and even fun on most days). We liked to laugh together and eat together--especially hot cinnamon rolls during our staff meetings on Friday mornings. I think my coworkers will miss having those rolls more than I'll miss getting up extra early to bake them :).
  

Not that I NEED to outline the things I will not miss... but a mixed feelings post wouldn't be complete without the other side of things, right?

• I won't miss leaving my kids (albeit in capable hands) for any amount of time with babysitters... or arranging complicated schedules and assuring that kids are picked up and dropped off in the right place. I have had wonderful friends that have taken great care of Liv and Coleman, but I am so glad that I get to be a stay-at-home mom again and not have to rely on others to make sure the kids are taken care of.
  
• I won't miss the commute... and worrying about whether or not there will be traffic or snow or any other sort of craziness that might make me late to work. I won't miss bad radio and commercials and nothing to listen to because I've exhausted the (very) limited supply of books on CD from our local library. I definitely won't miss the construction zone on I-15 that made things interesting to and from work each day.
  
• I won't miss the stress of work and the occasional "interesting" client that would come into our clinic and cause all sorts of problems.
• I won't miss all the rules and regulations of working for the government.
  
• I won't miss having to wear dress pants or skirts! Hooray for blue jeans and t-shirts and flip-flops.
  
• I won't miss missing school and social and church events because I have to be at work.
• I won't miss early mornings, rushing to get out the door on time and hoping that I've remembered to send my kids with all the things they'll need for the day.
• I won't miss having to come up with a lunch to pack... Triscuits, Laughing Cow cheese, and an apple are good, but I'm done with that. On to bigger and better things on the lunch menu.
• I won't miss crazy evenings, rushing to get dinner made and homework done and piano practiced and every other thing that needs to be done before bed time which always came way too quickly on work days.
  
• I won't miss the puffy feet that I have been coming home with lately.... I know they are pregnancy related, but in the last three days, I've been able to see my ankles and metatarsals. Hooray for ankles and metatarsals!
  

As you can see, the reasons that I am glad to be done working are much more abundant and meaningful than the reasons I will miss it--but I have mixed feelings still the same.

**What's your favorite brand of Girl Scout cookies?
**What kinds of things do you have mixed feelings about?